The divorce that made me who I am.
Divorce begins much earlier than the word suggests. For some couples, it begins on the first date. Some relationships should never have started, but what matters is how they end.
Divorces and breakups are not only about the fact of breaking up, but also about deep internal crises and processes that somehow deal with the past and the future. Going through these stages in an environmentally friendly way is one of the tasks.
In this course, we will not explore divorce—we will explore ourselves—and in doing so, we will create the versions of ourselves that will remain when the relationship ends.
Who is this program for?
For those who are torn between leaving and staying, who are filled with doubts, fears, and dissatisfaction with their current relationship.
For those who have decided to leave.
For those who are being left.
For those who are in the process of dividing their lives, property, children, and past.
For those who are already on the shore of “divorce,” but don’t know what to do next.
This program is designed to be useful to many, because the center is still me. My relationships, how I live in them, what I find and what I lose.
Program:
Webinar 1: Divorce is the best crisis for life.
To successfully end a relationship, assimilation is necessary. Appropriating experience, expanding awareness—about how the relationship began, what held it together, and what contributed to its destruction. This information about yourself is what you will take with you into the future. Therefore, the first webinar of the course will be devoted to forming a narrative about your relationship, as well as refining your experience.
We will also talk about the difficulties, feelings, and fears:
– when you leave
– when they leave you
– when the decision is mutual, expected, or unexpected
– how a couple’s crisis differs from a dead end
– how to talk about divorce
– why it is so difficult to decide whether you want a divorce or not, and whether you are ready for it – internally and externally
– why there is such a short distance between love and hate, and what lies in between
– How strong feelings push us to false conclusions and what traumas, pains, and resentments from the past can obscure our view of the present (traumatic reenactments)
– What strategies for coping with crises exist, which ones you use, and how to change a strategy that does not lead to a constructive conclusion
– beliefs, fears, what you know about divorce and how it hinders or helps you
– why people are afraid to regret their decision—what is at the root of this fear
– shame, guilt, duty, fear for children—how to deal with it
– Resentment, feelings of rejection, humiliation, rage, desire for revenge—where do these feelings come from and where do they lead?
– How to end a relationship, at what point does the end come? What is the difference between the end of a relationship and its completion? How long does the end take, and how long does the completion take?
Webinar 2: The assembly point.
In this webinar, we will look at the main practical points that are important to consider when separating.
– What is the division of property, friends, social circle, children, and money?
– What do we confuse division with – when we divide not property, but feelings, the past, not the present. How not to lose out, what to agree on legally and when, how to divide guilt/debt/resentment with agreements, money, and children
– Feelings of fairness and unfairness during division—how to deal with them. How to divide feelings and events
– Calculating losses and gains—through which prisms do we calculate? Emotional and material loss or gain—how to come out ahead
– Risks and common mistakes during this period
– How to deal with your partner’s abusive behavior and your own desire for destruction. How to distinguish between manipulation, pressure, and blackmail—is it temporary or permanent, what defense strategies
This is a practical webinar to help you understand the scope of the event and realize what kind of help you need and where to find it.
Webinar 3: His/her bare ass won’t make you happy.
Practical advice on custody, children, money, communication, and transforming relationships after separation. These are the first steps into the personal life of each partner.
– moving towards autonomy – separating budgets, worldviews, plans, desires, feelings
– financial stability – how to set up your life in a new way
– what is a family system and how to cope with change. Large family and small family. How to build your own separate system
– What I can, want, and do after divorce
– What to do with everything you learned during the breakup—about yourself, your ex, money, children
– About the desire for war, revenge, anger, envy towards your ex—how to deal with it
– leaving him/her with nothing – what feeds this desire. What need is behind it?
– what you didn’t discuss and didn’t say – where to put it.
Webinar 4: A happy future.
The period after the end – the beginning of the end of the story and the creation of a narrative that will shape the outcome.
What are you taking away from the relationship, what have you lost, what do you need to mourn, what should you rejoice in, what should you revive?
This webinar is about the quiet, long period of maturing readiness to move into the future.
– how to restore trust and faith in relationships
– what is acceptance, humility, forgiveness
– How to deal with fears and insecurities after the end of a relationship
– Self-reliance, separation, getting back what you put in
– The path to yourself
The end – what really ends the story of a relationship.
We will talk about the meaning of divorce for you specifically, and about your future goals.
Course structure:
4 webinars on Fridays: February 13, February 20, February 27, March 6, 6:30-9:00 p.m. Kyiv time. Telegram chat for questions, communication, feedback, practical assignments, and additional information not covered in the webinars.
Recordings of the webinars will be available immediately after the broadcasts, and you can watch them at any time. The Telegram chat will start earlier and will remain active for two weeks after the last webinar. In this chat, you can share your feelings, questions, and experiences with each other. This is a chat for support and presence, as well as additional information on the course topics.
The program is dynamic, which means that I will rely on your requests when preparing each webinar and add topics that you would like to discuss. During the course, you will receive answers to all your questions, either in the webinars themselves or in the chat.
This course is not therapeutic, but practical. Here you will be able to see the scope of the processes that divorce reveals, map out further paths for yourself, gain momentum to move forward, channel your emotions constructively, and form supports that will help you in the process. Here you will be able to share your difficulties, fears, and experiences. Here you can ask your questions and get answers.
Course leader:
Yarina Mei, Gestalt therapist, author, divorced and remarried. I have been developing this course for several years, gathering my own conclusions about divorce, as well as working with clients and observing the difficulties and fears involved in this transition.
Course fee: €120